I have never commented on recent news (or any news). I am breaking that trend today. Fox News has openly attacked Wiccans (or maybe all Pagans) because the University of Missouri has decided to include Wiccan holidays and that is just too amazing to leave to others.
I have never talked about Fox News before. Perhaps today I am struck with a fervor. Perhaps as a naturalized citizen and veteran of the US Army I am feeling patriotic and compelled.
I will address each offensive statement step by step:

“There’s Wiccans and Pagans out there. Probably–I don’t know if they make up a large percentage of the population.”
“I do–they don’t.”
1. Whether Pagans making up a large or small portion of the population is irrelevant. Not allowing them their 1st Amendment because you say they are a minority is Anti-American.

(By the way, Paganism is any religious faith not based on the three patriarchal monotheistic religions, which means this term includes religions like Taoism and Buddhism and Hinduism among literally countless others from all over the world. I can only assume you are talking about Wicca specifically so that is what I will refer to from here on as I address your statements)

“Now the bad side of Wiccanism is that its obviously a form of  ‘witchcraft’, but the upside is you get a ton of holidays.”
2. There is no ‘downside’ to Wicca any more than there is a ‘downside’ to Christianity…except Witches didn’t torture and burn millions of Christian women. Christians did. Do you not know your own atrocious history? Have you neglected to read or even heard of the Malleus Maleficarum? Also, its cute how you imply that people become Wiccan for the ‘many’ holidays or that observing numerous holidays is somehow childish/amusing.

“20% if all school holidays as described by the University of Missouri are Wiccan holidays. Twenty percent of all!!”
3. Conversely, 20% of their holidays are Christian, why don’t you complain about that instead? You should, because you’re ‘fair and balanced’.

“Its about Pagans and Wiccans being used for a political agenda to downgrade whats important to a majority of Americans. I think this is an anti-tradition action. I think Pagans and Wiccans should be VERY angry about being used by the establishment.”
4. How is Pagan and Wiccan traditions being respected alongside others translate to Wiccans being ‘used’ by the ‘establishment’. How is it anti-tradition when this upholds traditions much older than your own along side YOUR OWN? Why should Wiccans be angry at the University? Should they not be angry at YOU? If not for the history of brutality, than at least for these continuing insults of their ancient traditions?

“Right! And somehow if you’re Christian in this country, too that you can’t say ‘Merry Christmas’ to somebody or else you’re trying to push your Christian faith on other people!”
5. You can’t say ‘Merry Christmas’? Where can’t you say ‘Merry Christmas’? I have yet to see anyone get angry about this. What I have heard is ‘certain’ people get angry when they hear a more inclusive ‘Happy Holidays’. Further, how is observing holidays equivalent to ‘pushing’ religion on people? If that is the case, then the observation of ANY holiday is ‘pushing’ religion.

“Right, but you get TWENTY holidays now if you’re a Wiccan.”
6. Wiccans do not ‘get’ 20 holidays. I am personally not Wiccan. In fact I can only name two Wiccan holidays off the top of my head: Samhain and Yule. The first is reverence of the dead and the second a marking of the winter solstice. Actually taking a moment to research this, there are in fact six others for a total of eight. That is twelve short of ‘twenty’ (according to basic math). The University confirms, with Christians holding 7 and Wiccans being outnumbered by Jewish holidays, not counting others. But perhaps you ‘accidentally’ mixed up the percentage of the University holidays being observed with the physical number and it ‘accidentally’ sounds alarmist.

“Any religion who’s most sacred day is Halloween I just can’t take seriously.”
7. Well I could point out the spiritual vs the commercial difference between the Samhain and Halloween but instead I could say that I can’t take seriously a religion that stole two of its most famous holidays from the Wiccans. Christmas is just Yule with the word ‘Christ” thrown in (including the tree). Easter is not actually a holiday but a Pagan Goddess Eostre who represented fertility and rebirth with bunnies and eggs and celebrated life through divinely inspired sex (went the opposite way on the last part, huh?).

“Call me a bigot.”
8. You are a bigot.

“How many Wiccans can name every Wiccan holiday?”
9. As I said, before looking into this I could only name two of the eight. I am sure a Wiccans could name all eight. Shouldn’t be that hard. In fact I bet you can, Christianity having ‘borrowed’ most of them.

“I don’t know a single Wiccan.”
10. The company you keep is very telling.

“I will say this, because you know we’re journalists and I have covered this.”
11. LOL

“I went and interviewed a number of Wiccans and they say ‘Look we are the most peaceful individuals, we just–we don’t practice, crazy things, we’re just Of the Earth.‘”
12. Uh huh? And this will be followed by…

“I think thats right. Every Wiccan I’ve ever known is either a compulsive deep–Dungeons and Dragons player or is a middle-aged, twice-divorced older woman living in a rural area who works as a mid-wife.”
13. Somebody throw a D20 and a battleaxe at this asshole. I’m done. Thats all I can do.

I leave you with these words a witch kindly puts it into song for us:

  1. likamarie says:

    People who know nothing or very little should think before opening their mouths. A 5th grader could debate circles around these so called professionals on the facts of Wiccan faith.

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